Sexual Health Aspects Part II: Our Ability in Adapting Sexually
Throughout our life our ability to adapt to change and shift into new ways of being and thinking are a key aspect of growth. This principle is no different sexually. If we are too ridged in our ways, inflexible and determined to stay within strict parameters we can miss out on a wide, colorful spectrum of experiences and fantasies. I explore here a few items that can usher in our adaptability in our sexual lives.
Life Circumstances
Life has a way of tossing us the unexpected at times. Stress from work, going back to school, a new child in the family (or even pet), and even taking on major projects can have a drastic decrease in sex and sexuality. Being aware that these sudden shifts can put a damper on sexy time helps, as awareness is one of the first steps towards resolution. If you are not having as much sensual/sexual connection as you would like, start by observing what has changed in your life or those of your partners world.
The Question of Age
Sex and sexuality evolve throughout our lives. For some people, the experience of decrease in sex drive happens with age. People who are in long-term relationships often find that their sexual activities, as well as interests and capabilities, change over time. You might get curious and see or read about something that you want to experiment with so the change can positive. On the flip-side, the realities of medical conditions have an impact of your sexual expression that is less desirable, both with yourself and with others. Are you open to these changes? Are you willing to step into the unknown and explore? Is facing grief and loss of what was preventing space from developing into what may be? Adaptability requires facing the current reality just as it is and deciding from there what will or won’t work for you in a relationship, and this requires remarkable courage.
Adaptability is about recognizing and accepting that the people that I have connection with will necessarily evoke different things in us, and this may look different from another partner or partners. Once acknowledged, we can adapt to the reality of our loved ones by letting ourselves discern what this partner can bring out of us, by taking personal responsibility for staying in tune with the aspects of our sexuality that are central to us regardless of our partner, or by deciding that we need to move on to what it is we are seeking out in our connections, both intimately and sexually.
