Online Sex Therapy & Couples Therapy in California
Specialized online therapy for individuals and couples navigating desire discrepancy, intimacy breakdowns, performance anxiety, betrayal repair, and the relational patterns that keep love from feeling alive.
Thoughtful, depth-oriented, and highly specialized care for people who want more than surface-level communication strategies.
Dr. Adrian Scharfetter, PhD, LMFT, CST-S
License # 113824
intimacy issues
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mixed libido
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communication issues
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sexual health
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Desire Mismatch
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Decreased sexual function
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BDSM and kink affirming
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Boundaries
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intimacy issues ◇ mixed libido ◇ communication issues ◇ sexual health ◇ Desire Mismatch ◇ Decreased sexual function ◇ BDSM and kink affirming ◇ Boundaries ◇
Individual and Couples Therapy with Depth
Many of the people who reach out here are successful, intelligent, and deeply invested in their relationships.
From the outside, things may look stable.
Inside the relationship, or inside yourself, there may be frustration, avoidance, shame, resentment, grief, or a growing sense that something vital has gone missing.
You may be having the same conversations over and over.
Or not having them at all.
You may love each other and still feel sexually disconnected.
You may want closeness and still find yourself shutting down.
This is the kind of work I specialize in.
This practice is especially well-suited for clients who want depth, directness, and meaningful change, not generic advice.
What Couples Work on in Intimacy Therapy:
Emotional disconnection and growing distance
Desire discrepancy and mismatched libidos
Rebuilding closeness after infidelity or broken trust
Intimacy avoidance and physical withdrawal
Navigating changes after pregnancy, illness, or major life transitions
Shame or anxiety around sexual needs and desires
Learning to initiate and communicate about sex without conflict
Addressing patterns where sex has become obligatory rather than connecting
You may be a strong fit if…
You and your partner care deeply about each other, but intimacy has become tense, avoidant, conflict-ridden, or absent
One of you wants more sex, while the other feels pressure, shutdown, or dread
You’re struggling with erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, low desire, or difficulty initiating intimacy
You’re trying to repair after betrayal, secrecy, or a rupture in trust
You want therapy that can hold emotional complexity and sexual reality, not just communication skills
You’re looking for a therapist who is sex-positive, kink-affirming, LGBTQ+ affirming, and comfortable working with consensual non-monogamy
You want specialized care that feels mature, nuanced, and clinically grounded
Not sure if therapy is the right fit?
We’ll talk briefly about what’s going on, what you’re hoping to change, and whether I’m the right therapist for your needs.
10 minute chat
No pressure
For California residents only
Online only
Specialized online therapy for intimacy, desire, and relationship repair
Expert help for desire mismatch, sexual disconnection, and performance anxiety
Sex therapy and couples therapy for the issues most therapists avoid
Many couples therapists can help with communication.
Fewer are specifically trained to treat desire discrepancy, erectile concerns, shame, arousal issues, betrayal-related sexual shutdown, kink/ENM dynamics, or sexual avoidance.
Focused support for intimacy, sexuality, and relationship repair
Rather than trying to be everything to everyone, this practice is designed around a few areas of deep specialization.
This is not generic couples therapy
Many therapists can help with communication.
Far fewer are specifically trained to work with the places where sex, desire, shame, erotic tension, betrayal, and attachment collide.
When intimacy becomes painful, avoidant, emotionally charged, or chronically unresolved, the work often requires more than better conflict skills. It requires a therapist who can understand both the relational system and the sexual system, and help you work with what’s actually happening beneath the surface.
That is the focus of this practice.
AASECT Certified Sex Therapist
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Advanced training in intimacy, erotic dynamics, and relationship repair
Affirming of LGBTQ+, kink, and consensual non-monogamy
Online therapy available throughout California
Reaching out for therapy can feel vulnerable. Initial consultations are simply a conversation to see whether working together feels like a good fit.
Intimacy problems rarely resolve through avoidance
If desire, sex, trust, or emotional closeness has become a source of tension, distance, shame, or repeated conflict, specialized support can make a meaningful difference.
You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
You only need to be willing to begin the conversation.