Online Sex Therapy & Couples Therapy in California


Specialized online therapy for individuals and couples navigating desire discrepancy, intimacy breakdowns, performance anxiety, betrayal repair, and the relational patterns that keep love from feeling alive.

Thoughtful, depth-oriented, and highly specialized care for people who want more than surface-level communication strategies.

Dr. Adrian Scharfetter, PhD, LMFT, CST-S
License # 113824

Book a Free Consultation

intimacy issues

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mixed libido

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communication issues

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sexual health

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Desire Mismatch

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Decreased sexual function

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BDSM and kink affirming

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Boundaries

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intimacy issues ◇ mixed libido ◇ communication issues ◇ sexual health ◇ Desire Mismatch ◇ Decreased sexual function ◇ BDSM and kink affirming ◇ Boundaries ◇

Aerial view of a mountain lake surrounded by dense forest
A young couple sharing an intimate moment outdoors, with the man gently kissing the woman's forehead and both with closed eyes, dressed warmly against the dark background.

Individual and Couples Therapy with Depth

Many of the people who reach out here are successful, intelligent, and deeply invested in their relationships.

From the outside, things may look stable.
Inside the relationship, or inside yourself, there may be frustration, avoidance, shame, resentment, grief, or a growing sense that something vital has gone missing.

You may be having the same conversations over and over.
Or not having them at all.

You may love each other and still feel sexually disconnected.
You may want closeness and still find yourself shutting down.

This is the kind of work I specialize in.

This practice is especially well-suited for clients who want depth, directness, and meaningful change, not generic advice.

What I Support You With in Intimacy Therapy:

  • Emotional disconnection and growing distance

  • Desire discrepancy and mismatched libidos

  • Rebuilding closeness after infidelity or broken trust

  • Intimacy avoidance and physical withdrawal

  • Navigating changes after pregnancy, illness, or major life transitions

  • Shame or anxiety around sexual needs and desires

  • Learning to initiate and communicate about sex without conflict

  • Addressing patterns where sex has become obligatory rather than connecting

You may be a strong fit if…

  • You and your partner care deeply about each other, but intimacy has become tense, avoidant, conflict-ridden, or absent

  • One of you wants more sex, while the other feels pressure, shutdown, or dread

  • You’re struggling with erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, low desire, or difficulty initiating intimacy

  • You’re trying to repair after betrayal, secrecy, or a rupture in trust

  • You want therapy that can hold emotional complexity and sexual reality, not just communication skills

  • You’re looking for a therapist who is sex-positive, kink-affirming, LGBTQ+ affirming, and comfortable working with consensual non-monogamy

  • You want specialized care that feels mature, nuanced, and clinically grounded

Two young men having a conversation at a table in a bright indoor setting with large windows and natural light.

Many couples therapists can help with communication.
Fewer are specifically trained to treat desire discrepancy, erectile concerns, shame, arousal issues, betrayal-related sexual shutdown, kink/ENM dynamics, or sexual avoidance.

Let's Talk

  • Individual Therapy - $200 per 50 min

    Couples Therapy - $230 per 50 min

    Couples Intensive - $700+ Starting at 3 hours

    I offer 50 min and 90 min sessions for regular therapy sessions.

  • 48 Hours notice with out charging for session. More information can be found at my New Client page.

  • I am considered out of network, and do not take insurance. Some policies have out of network benefits so you might be able to get reimbursed. Look at my Insurance page for more information and check your coverage.

  • Yes, I only provide online sessions via a secure online platform.

Focused support for intimacy, sexuality, and relationship repair

Rather than trying to be everything to everyone, this practice is designed around a few areas of deep specialization.

A woman with long dark hair and glasses, wearing a beige knit sweater and black pants, sitting cross-legged on a woven mat with a laptop and holding a white mug, in a cozy, well-lit room with a white wall and framed pictures in the background.
A young couple laughing and relaxing on a couch with laptops in front of them.
Four people sitting and talking in a modern, brightly lit lounge area near large windows.
A smiling man and woman hugging outdoors on a rooftop patio during daytime with cloudy sky and scenic landscape in the background.

This is not generic couples therapy

Many therapists can help with communication.

Far fewer are specifically trained to work with the places where sex, desire, shame, erotic tension, betrayal, and attachment collide.

When intimacy becomes painful, avoidant, emotionally charged, or chronically unresolved, the work often requires more than better conflict skills. It requires a therapist who can understand both the relational system and the sexual system, and help you work with what’s actually happening beneath the surface.

That is the focus of this practice.

  • AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

  • Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

  • Advanced training in intimacy, erotic dynamics, and relationship repair

  • Affirming of LGBTQ+, kink, and consensual non-monogamy

  • Online therapy available throughout California

Book a Free Consultation

Reaching out for therapy can feel vulnerable. Initial consultations are simply a conversation to see whether working together feels like a good fit.

Intimacy problems rarely resolve through avoidance

If desire, sex, trust, or emotional closeness has become a source of tension, distance, shame, or repeated conflict, specialized support can make a meaningful difference.

You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
You only need to be willing to begin the conversation.